10 Ways to Build a Culture of Gratitude @ Work
Originally published on LinkedIn on 10/23/18
I recently facilitated a client workshop about how to leverage gratitude as an engagement and connection tool in the workplace. Employees from all levels of the organization were there, including a handful of executives.
Over the course of the session, attendees shared stories of their own experiences with gratitude at work. One executive shared how much it meant to him when a fellow executive came to his office for the sole purpose of telling him specifically what a great job he was doing. Hearing that person express appreciation in such an intentional way was unusual, which made it even more meaningful. Another employee recounted a story of a recent training he delivered. One of the higher ups unexpectedly attended and came up to him afterward to tell him how well he had done. That leader's presence spoke volumes and made the IT trainer feel like what he does matters. A member of the HR team shared how much it meant to her when the retiring CEO publicly praised the work she and her colleagues had done to create a strategic, highly functional HR team in recent years. She was beaming as she recalled that moment.
When we feel like who we are and what we do matters, we are more willing to go above and beyond and to stick around.
How motivated do you think those employees are going to be to continue to do good work?
At another session I was leading on the same topic, an attendee said something that really resonated with me:
"I'm not looking for public recognition. You know what really means a lot to me? When someone stops me in the hallway and asks me about my daughter. It makes me feel like a human instead of a functional robot."
How often do we feel like "functional robots", just doing our jobs and going through the motions rather than human beings who truly feel seen?
All of us want to hear the words, "I see you. I get you. You matter."
We are hardwired to have a negativity bias, to constantly be on the lookout for what's wrong. Fortunately, our flexible brain can be rewired if we express authentic appreciation regularly and intentionally notice what's right. What fires together, wires together.
Let's do a better job of recognizing people on a daily basis, so they feel seen, heard, valued and like they matter. Everyone would benefit - both the giver and receiver and those who observe the act of kindness.
I've yet to meet anyone who suffers from too much appreciation.
My hope is that gratitude and appreciation will become so normal that not being grateful, not showing appreciation, and not regularly recognizing people will be seen as unusual and surprising.
I've written previously about the importance of gratitude for retention, performance, and morale. Lack of appreciation is one of the main reasons people leave their jobs, although many managers believe money is the reason. If you want more on the business case and back story on the power of gratitude as a retention and engagement tool, read this post.
Too many people go through their days not knowing the impact they have on other people.
They feel like their efforts go unnoticed and eventually disengage as a result. This doesn't have to happen! Shifting our mindset to focus on what's right will probably feel awkward at first, as we're more often in the habit of criticizing and complaining than validating and affirming.
But we can rewire our brains.
Appreciation can become the new normal.
Let's take a look at some creative and meaningful ways to notice what's right and flex and strengthen our gratitude muscle.
1) Focus on being a bucket filler, not a bucket dipper.
This concept is outlined in Don Clifton and Tom Rath's book, How Full Is Your Bucket?, one of my favorite books on the topic of recognition and appreciation. The concept is simple, but few of us do it.
Imagine that each one of is carrying around a bucket. Each interaction we have with someone is an opportunity to fill that bucket up with appreciation, gratitude, kindness, compassion, and connection, to leave them feeling better afterwards as a result of engaging with us. The alternative is to dip from other people's buckets through negativity, criticism, unkindness, or by ignoring them. In bucket dipping scenarios, the person leaves feeling less than, de-energized and depleted as a result of interacting with you.
Think about how you generally interact with people.
Are you more of a bucket filler or a bucket dipper?
What if each of intended to leave as many interactions as possible with the feeling that we filled someone up rather than drained them. Each day, ask yourself, “How can I be a contribution? How can I fill someone else's bucket”, and act accordingly.
2) Begin your day with a gratitude jump-start.
If you want to start your day off on a positive note, take two minutes to send an email to someone who has had an impact on you or made your life better or easier in some way. You can email a coworker, a client, a vendor or a mentor. Let them know why you appreciate them. It will make their day, and you'll get a boost in mood as a result of elevating that person.
Starting your day by intentionally focusing on what is right before you feel overwhelmed by what is wrong is a great way to reset your mindset. When we express authentic appreciation to someone else, we experience a boost in mood, too.
3) Hold "appreciation huddles".
I first saw this idea posted on Richard Branson's site by a guy named Barnaby Lashbrooke (isn't that one of the coolest names?). He wrote about a practice his team does on a daily basis to build a culture of appreciation. They hold daily "appreciation huddles" where every team member tells the whole office who they appreciate and why as a way to start the day.
This is a great way to be a bucket filler on a daily basis and something you could take back to your team, even if it's not something you do company-wide. Companies are made up of teams, so imagine the impact of this practice if even a few teams started doing it.
4) Get in the habit of sending thank you notes or emails promptly.
Did someone introduce you to someone who ended up giving you an opportunity? Take you out for a meal? Buy you a gift? Advocate for you in some way? Have your back? Brighten your day?
When someone does something nice for you or goes out of their way to make your life better or easier, say "THANK YOU" promptly.
Do this as soon as you can, as a thank you note months after the experience will not be as meaningful as one received close to the time of the kind act. It takes almost no time to do and makes you and the person receiving it feel great. Handwritten notes are particularly memorable. I post all of the handwritten notes I receive on a bulletin board at my desk or tape them into journals. They mean so much to me.
5) Learn to speak their appreciation language.
Ask people how they prefer to be recognized and appreciated and act accordingly. If you're familiar with the five love languages, take things to the next level and start exploring the languages of appreciation. Whether it's words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service or tangible gifts, each of us has primary and secondary ways of being appreciated that mean the most to us.
Speaking people's preferred language of appreciation will help you communicate and connect more effectively with them. Some people love public praise, while others would prefer more quality time, tickets to a sporting event or administrative support.
You can get a code to take an assessment to pinpoint your top appreciation language when you purchase the book The 5 Language of Appreciation in the Workplace. I'd also recommend digging into additional free resources on the website that accompanies the book, AppreciationatWork.
6) Write a gratitude letter to another person...and read it aloud to them.
Think of someone who did something for you for which you are extremely grateful but to whom you never expressed your deep gratitude. It could be a relative, friend, neighbor, teacher, or colleague. Try to pick someone who is still alive and could meet you face-to-face in the next two weeks. Take about 15 minutes and write a letter to them outlining what you appreciate and why. Then, meet with that person and read the letter to them. For the step-by-step gratitude-letter writing process, check out this resource from The Greater Good Science Center.
This process is powerful not only for the receiver but also the giver. When we express appreciation to another person, we experience a boost in wellbeing. Doing this activity of writing and reading one gratitude letter has been shown to boost happiness levels for up to one month in the giver.
How many other free things could you do that would have that significant of an impact?
7) Set out a thank you note basket or "kudos" notes for employees to write to each other.
We did this for over a decade at SIG, the company I worked at for over 12 years. As a result, hundreds of notes have been written to employees by their peers. We buy the notes and pens on Amazon and choose covers that are colorful or notes that are funny. We've also used these High Five and Kudos notes from Amazon.
It's been inspiring to walk around the office and see how many people have thank you notes and kudos notes pinned up at their desks. If you make it easy and accessible for people to thank each other, they will be more likely to do so. Recognizing one another has become part of our culture and something that people value about working at our company.
8) Practice the “3 Good Things” exercise.
This activity has other names, but I like to call it "3Gs a Day."
Write down three good things that happen each day. Do this for 21 days. Make note of WHY each of those things happened that day, if possible. Be specific. Get personal and focus on PEOPLE to whom you’re grateful more than on THINGS for which you’re grateful.
I've found it particularly helpful to do this before going to sleep, as it centers my mind and body on what I'm grateful for rather than what I'm worried about. We can't experience fear and gratitude at the same time, so if you're feeling anxious or fearful, practice gratitude.
By intentionally looking for what's good and assigning meaning to even mundane experiences, you can begin to rewire your brain to notice more good things.
What we focus on e x p a n d s.
9) Create a Tribute video for a coworker.
A few years ago, Andrew Horn, Tribute's founder, was creating a video to celebrate his wife's birthday. He was frustrated by how long it took to piecemeal videos from friends to create the final product. He knew there had to be an easier way to automate and expedite the process, so he created Tribute.
If you're looking to celebrate a milestone or special occasion like an anniversary, retirement, wedding or shower, make a Tribute video. For a glimpse at what they do, check out their video here.
10) Let your HR Department know about the KazooHR platform.
KazooHR is an employee recognition platform that people will actually use. It has proven results in boosting engagement, retention and employee satisfaction scores and takes a gamified approach to recognition. Anyone can recognize a peer, subordinate or boss at any point in time for any act of kindness, support, or achievement. One of our clients has used it for several years, and their employees love it and use it regularly.
If you're an HR professional, think of all of the money spent on traditional wellness portals to track steps, weight, and how much water someone drinks in a day. Consider reallocating those dollars to a recognition platform as a way to facilitate regular appreciation at work and boost engagement, morale, and wellbeing in the process.
Acts of kindness have more immediate impact on wellbeing than most of what we do in the name of wellness at work anyway.
Creating a culture of appreciation is one way we can foster a sense of belonging and connection at work. It doesn't have to cost a dime, and it can have a ripple effect throughout your organization.
Here's the bottom line when it comes to appreciation at work. None of us wants to feel like a functional robot.
All of us want to feel seen, heard, affirmed and like we matter.
When we express authentic, meaningful appreciation regularly, we create cultures where people thrive.
Give one of the ideas above a try, and let me know what works for you!
*Did this post resonate with you? If you'd like to learn more about bringing gratitude training to your company, send me a message. I'd love to chat with you.
Your Feedback
How about you? Do you have any ideas for practicing gratitude at work that have positively impacted your life? Feel free to leave a comment below, so others can learn from your experience!
To learn more about this topic, check out the following articles:
The Powerful Effect of Noticing Good Things at Work by Joyce Bono & Theresa Glomb, Harvard Business Review, September 4, 2015
