3 Ways to Unmute Yourself @ Work: Elevate Your Confidence and Courage to Amplify Your Career
Have you ever let self-doubt, insecurity, or other limiting beliefs hold you back from taking confident or courageous action in your career?
If you have, you're not alone.
I've asked over 1,000 working professionals to share how they silence, doubt or hold themselves back in their careers. The most common theme across all of their responses is that self-silencing is rooted in fear.
Fear of conflict, failure, judgment, disapproval, rejection, and not being good enough.
We tell ourselves things like:
➡️ But I'm only a... (intern, admin, newbie, etc.)
➡️ But I'm an imposter...
➡️ But I'm not good enough...
➡️ But I'm not qualified...
➡️ But I'm not ready...
And all of those beliefs hold us back and stop us from moving forward with courage.
You know what makes us courageous and empowers us to unmute ourselves, to show up in the world with greater boldness and more fulfillment?
Worthiness.
Feeling like we are worthy of being seen, advocating for ourselves, speaking up, standing out, and asking for what we want and need.
Here are three steps I recommend for how to connect to a greater sense of self-worth and self-confidence, so we can move forward with courage in our careers:
1. Activate Your Assets
Many of us don't feel comfortable letting ourselves be fully seen. We feel like we have to show up as the perfectly polished and put together version of ourselves in order to be accepted. Anything that we deem unacceptable we try to hide.
When I burned out and got mono several years ago, I was afraid to let people I worked with see the side of me that was scared and struggling. I was the Director of Wellbeing at my company, so I felt like I had to be okay, perky, happy and positive all the time, even when I wasn't.
But I'm not the only one who feels that way. A lot of people feel like they have to cover up the less than impressive parts of who they are, especially people who are the helpers and behind-the-scenes trying to support everyone around them.
Not only do we cover up our struggles, but many of us have been given the message, "Don't toot your own horn!" So we learn to hide our strengths, talents and wins and don't feel comfortable standing in and owning our accomplishments.
I wrote a previous post outlining six of my favorite questions to ask ourselves to build our confidence and clarity, so we can move forward with courage. One of my favorite practices outlined in that post is the Reflected Best Self exercise. As we start to reflect on our own strengths and ask people to reflect back the strengths they see in us, we can learn to borrow their belief in us until we believe in ourselves.
I also made a video about the importance of Why You SHOULD Toot Your Own Horn! 🎉 and specifically how you can do it.
Here's a question to sit with as you reflect on the importance of being seen:
What is something specific about yourself that you're proud of, value or appreciate?
Jot down your response and tell someone else about it.
It's not bragging, and it's not selfish to celebrate yourself.
Our goal is what Adam Grant calls "confident humility" - self-assurance in what we do well combined with the willingness to be coached and seek feedback.
You can also ask yourself: What interests, strengths, or talents do I have that the company isn't currently using? Reflect on that and jot down what comes to mind. Take initiative and share what you've come up with with your boss. Let them know you're the kind of person who knows their strengths and wants to use them.
Let yourself be seen.
Image credit: Steve Harvey on Unsplash
2. Advocate for Yourself
Have you ever felt like you wanted to speak up and ask for something you needed or wanted at work but were so afraid of rejection or other people's judgment that you stayed silent?
You're not alone in that. It's something a lot of people do. We are often better at advocating for other people than we are advocating for ourselves. But we can learn to speak up for ourselves and take charge of our careers.
We can ask our boss or colleagues to tell us what it is about the work do that has the greatest value to them, to your clients / customers, and to your organization. And as we get clarity around that question, we can start to advocate to do more of the things that bring the greatest value.
Three questions I often ask in the keynotes I deliver to help people find clarity in their careers, so they can move forward with greater confidence are:
Where do I want to GO? What do you want to do? How do you want to spend your time? What role / position do you want?
How do I want to GROW? What training, education, experience, counseling, certifications, coaching or therapy do you need to pursue to grow into who you need to become to go where you want to go?
Who do I need to KNOW? Who is already doing what you want to be doing or can be an accelerator of your path? Who can you learn from or connect with to advance more quickly?
As we reflect on those questions, we can get clearer on where we want to go and how to get there. That clarity gives us the courage to start taking action and moving forward instead of staying stuck.
Lastly, we can advocate for ourselves when we feel overwhelmed at work by having conversations like this with our boss:
"I have something I'd like to talk about with you that I think will help us work together more effectively. Would you be open to talking about that? I'd love to get your perspective."
or
"I have some ideas for how we can _______. Would you be open to hearing them and let me know what you think?"
Both of those questions demonstrate taking initiative and taking care of our careers, advocating for ourselves, our ideas, and what we need.
Let yourself be heard.
3. Accept the Invitation
After being named the #1 Health Promotion Professional in the U.S. in 2015 by the Wellness Council of America (WELCOA), I was asked to be one of the keynotes at their annual conference the following spring.
I had been a member of that organization for eight years and had attended their conference for years to learn from other thought leaders in the industry. The presentation I was asked to deliver was on the topic of nutrition. At the time, I had been working in wellness for nearly a decade and was a health coach with a Master's degree in Health Science, but here's what I wasn't:
❌ A registered dietitian
❌ A licensed nutritionist
❌ A licensed healthcare provider of any kind
I could've responded to that invitation with something like, "Um, I don't think I'm the most qualified person to speak on that topic..."
But I didn't say that. I accepted the invitation and went on to deliver my very first national keynote in April of 2016. This year, WELCOA asked me to be the opening keynote speaker of the whole conference, where I gave the best keynote of my life! That's what can happen when we accept the invitations presented to us.
Too many of us are afraid to say "yes" to the invitations we receive because of the self-doubt and unworthiness we feel. We tell ourselves we're not enough or we're not ready, and we hold ourselves back more than anyone else. That's why I like to remind myself and others of this:
"Don't let your doubts disqualify you."
When we're asked to do something, that means at least one other person thinks we're qualified. What if we borrowed their belief in us and said YES, even if we weren't 100% sure of ourselves? That's how we get more confident - by saying yes and taking action.
I wholeheartedly believe and often say that "an invitation is an indication of a qualification." So, when you're invited, say YES!
And if you're tempted to get caught up in the belief that you're an imposter and that is why you're not ready or qualified, tell yourself this:
"You're not an imposter. You're in process."
You're figuring it out as you go. All of us are.
Too many of us end up living with regret because we say NO and disqualify or discount ourselves when opportunities arise. But something I've learned from New York Times bestselling author, Daniel Pink, is this:
"We regret what we didn't do more than what we did do. Regrets of inaction are far more common than regrets of action."
So, choose to be bold. Choose to say yes. Accept the invitation.
You never know where that one "yes" might lead you!
Take Action
What is one way you can be more intentional about letting yourself be seen? What becomes possible in your life and work if you step more fully into that version of yourself?
What becomes possible if you are willing to speak up, stop doubting yourself, and start accepting the opportunities that come your way or proactively pursue creating opportunities that don’t yet exist?
What is one small and simple and one BIG and BOLD step you can take to unmute yourself at work? Imagine how you will feel once you've made the decision to tape into courage and take that step!
Keep learning by checking out some of my past articles on this topic:
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How Can I Help?
For nearly 20 years, I’ve devoted myself to helping organizations, leaders and teams go from self-doubt to self-confidence, from fear to courage, and from problems to possibilities in their life and work.
I do this through interactive keynotes, workshops, leadership trainings and retreats in-person and virtually. If you're interested in learning more about my services for yourself or someone else on the topic above or other topics, start here and we can find time to connect.
