5 Simple Ways to Promote + Advance Yourself at Work (without Being a Jerk)
It’s one of the most effective ways we can advance our careers, increase job satisfaction, and even make more money, but most of us have been told we shouldn’t do it, especially women.
We’ve been told that we will appear selfish, self-serving, and prideful if we do it, so most of us stay quiet about it and hold ourselves back.
We’re told:
❌ Don’t talk about what you do well
❌ Don’t relish in your successes
❌ Don’t toot your own horn
We end up feeling conflicted in our moments of success because there’s a little 5-year-old in each of us who feels proud of the pretty picture we just drew and wants people to acknowledge it and celebrate us.
But there’s a “sensible” inner voice that admonishes us for doing the same thing as adults: “Don’t talk about yourself. People will think you’re full of yourself. No one likes a bragger!”
So, we stay silent about our successes, secretly hoping someone will notice us and even reward us at some point, but for many people, that never happens, and they're left feeling frustrated and resentful.
One of the ways I climbed my way up the corporate ladder from an admin assistant to the national director of a department and now a successful entrepreneur is by doing this:
Making accomplishments known to people in power
Research by Catalyst has found that one of the most impactful strategies for women in furthering their careers and increasing their salary growth and satisfaction is making their achievements known.
Yet, it’s the very thing we’ve been told not to do, and, as a result, countless people are stuck in jobs that are unfulfilling and in which they feel underutilized, under recognized and underpaid.
What if it didn’t have to be that way? What if it could be different and you could balance both confidence and healthy pride with humility?
There’s nothing wrong with embracing your successes instead of diminishing, dismissing, or downplaying them.
And you don’t have to choose BETWEEN promoting and shining a light on someone else OR advocating for and being proud of yourself. We can (and should) do BOTH!
If you want to be more intentional about making your accomplishments known, so you can advance in your career, here are five ways to do it (without coming off as prideful or arrogant):
1. Forward Your Wins
The next time you receive an email that includes specific praise for something you contributed to or an impact you had, forward that email to your boss with language like this:
“I know you love hearing stories of happy clients / customers, so I wanted to share this email from Client X with you. It made my day, and I hope it is a highlight of yours as well. Thank you for opportunities like this to do such meaningful work!”
I can’t tell you the number of times I did something like that in my 13-year corporate career. The powers that be were always aware of the work I was doing and what clients thought about it because I made sure they knew about it.
We can’t assume that the people we work with (not even our boss) are fully looped into the impact we’re having.
That’s why it’s important to forward your successes, so they can see them!
I do something similar now. When I receive glowing evaluations after a keynote, I pass them along to speaking bureaus and current and prospective clients, so they can see the specific impact I have on an audience. I also express appreciation to the person who booked me for giving me an opportunity to do what I love.
Credit: Kaitlyn Baker, Unsplash
2. Connect to Healthy Pride
If I asked you to come up with something about yourself that you don’t like or that is inadequate in some way, I bet it wouldn’t take more than a few seconds for you to give me an answer. We’re hardwired to notice the negative based on our brain’s tendencies, but we can learn to retrain the brain by doing what I’m about to share.
Most of us have lost the ability to connect with what we’re proud of, appreciate or value about ourselves because we’ve spent so little time reflecting on our own goodness. In the interest of wanting to be seen as humble, we’ve whittled away our own confidence. Many people struggle to identify something about themselves that they’re genuinely proud of. It’s uncomfortable, and they feel like they’re bragging, which we’ve been told is a BIG no-no.
Sometimes we just need a little nudge, an invitation to pause and reflect and connect with what we do well.
Now is a great time to do that. Ask yourself:
“What’s something about myself that I’m proud of, appreciate or value?”
If you feel stuck, ask yourself, “What do people tend to thank me for most often that is meaningful to me?” People might praise you for being organized, but that might not be something YOU are proud of, so make sure it’s something you personally value.
Take a moment and do this now, if you can. WRITE IT DOWN. Put it in a journal or the notes section on your phone or a sticky note near your computer. We have to retrain our brain to dwell on what’s good, not just go into default mode, dwelling on what isn’t.
3. Create a Kudos Folder
Within the first few years of my corporate career, I created a folder in my Outlook inbox titled “Kudos.” Whenever a client or colleague sent me an email that was praising something I had done, I dragged it into that folder (after forwarding it to the right people at my company! 😉).
I looked back on those emails for a boost of confidence on days when I was feeling down, and I used them as support for requests I made for promotions and compensation adjustments.
4. Invite People to Be a Mirror
A few years ago, I found out about a practice from the University of Michigan called the Reflected Best Self. It’s a way to ask for feedback from people who know you well, so that you can identify your greatest strengths and areas of impact.
Once we have clarity about what we do best and how we contribute most, we can start doing more of it!
I put this video together to walk through how the process works:
5. Get Social Proof
If you’ve had a positive working relationship with a client, customer or colleagues and they’ve given you affirming feedback, ask them to capture their experience of working with you in a testimonial online. You could do this through Google Reviews and connect it to your company or go through LinkedIn recommendations.
After every keynote I deliver, I ask my clients to write a testimonial for me speaking to why they selected me as the speaker, what made me different, and what made the experience I delivered particularly impactful, meaningful, or effective.
At this point, I’ve amassed 125 client testimonials under LinkedIn Recommendations. I now use those when pitching myself for other speaking engagements with people who want to see proof of performance. It’s another way for me to get clarity about why people hire me, so I can use that intel to better market myself and my services in the future. Here's an example from a recent keynote I delivered:
Those are just a few of the ways we can make our accomplishments known. In the next issue of this newsletter, I’m going to share how you can use all of this to better position yourself to make more money at work by doing something OTHER than asking for a raise.
Stay tuned!
Reflect
Being someone who is of service to others is one of the most common ways to advance in our careers, but many people do that to the detriment of themselves and never take time to pause and celebrate their own wins. I think we can do both and that doing both is healthy.
Gaining insight without taking action isn't all that useful, so as you reflect on the insights above, I'd love to hear your perspective in the comments below!
Which one of the ideas above are you going to try this week?
What’s something about yourself that you are proud of, appreciate or value?
Would you add any tips about how to advance and promote yourself at work?
How Can I Help?
Over the last 15+ years, I’ve devoted myself to helping organizations, leaders and teams build confidence, clarity, courage and compassion, so they feel more fulfilled, engaged, and connected at work and at home. I've done this through interactive keynotes, workshops, leadership trainings and retreats onsite and virtually.
If you're interested in learning more about my services for yourself or someone else on the topic above or other topics, start here and we can find time to connect.
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