You Have ONE Job...To Do THIS
I used to get so nervous before giving a speech to an audience.
I would painstakingly review my content, trying to memorize it word for word, but in the back of my mind, I wrestled with these thoughts nearly every time I stepped on stage:
What if I forget my lines?
What if I leave something out?
What if something goes wrong, and I look stupid?
What if they don't laugh when I want them to laugh?
What if someone asks me a question and I don't know the answer?
What if they don't think I know what I'm talking about or don't seem smart enough?
What if...
What if...
What if...
I was operating from a mindset of fear and motivated by perfectionism. I wanted to be the "sage on the stage." I wanted the audience to see me as smart, impressive, legitimate.
It was all...about...ME.
You Have ONE Job
When we make a post, proposal, presentation or speech too much about US and how impressive or accomplished we are, the person on the other end feels it. Whether they're the audience or a current or prospective client, they can sense our intention. It affects how they see us, think about us and receive what we're delivering.
When we think it's our job as a speaker, leader, or coach to show off our credentials, accolades and expertise, so everyone knows how smart and competent we are, we are missing the point. Overdoing it comes off as insecurity.
When we care more about looking like an expert and getting it right than we do about the experience of the recipient, our priorities are misaligned. Trying to be the all-knowing authority can make us appear arrogant.
Through my own growth experiences and the guidance and training of Michael Port, Amy Port, Mike Ganino, Chloe DiVita, AJ Harper, D'Arcy Webb, Andrew Davis, Tami Evans, and Neen James, I've come to a new realization.
Whether we're delivering a speech, a training, a proposal or a report, we have one job:
To be in service to the audience.
An audience, client or group of colleagues can tell when you are coming from a place of service, when your intention is to help them in some way and to make their lives better. You are the guide on the side, not the sage on the stage.
As my friend, Joseph Myers, has reminded me many times - your AUDIENCE is the hero in the story. You are simply the guide helping them find their way.
A Lesson in Voice
I've been singing since I was a little girl, but I didn't incorporate it into my corporate work as a speaker until last year. I was working on a speech about becoming "unmuted" (which is also the name of my company - Unmuted). In the speech, I was telling a story about when I first let myself boldly and publicly release my voice.
It happened on the steps of a large, white chapel on my college campus when I was 20 years old. I was retelling the story of my unmuting and had started incorporating a few lines from a gospel song into my speech.
I was working with D'Arcy Webb, an amazing vocal coach at Heroic Public Speaking. I was running through a section in my speech that included me singing a gospel song. (Watch the video below for the full story and to experience D'Arcy's insightful coaching!)
The first time I sang it, D'Arcy asked me what I thought I needed to work on.
"Oh, I hold myself back," I told her, without hesitation. "Yes, you do," she affirmed.
She asked me to restate the lyrics I had just sung: "This morning when I rose, I didn't have no doubt."
Then, she asked me what that lyric meant to me.
I teared up as I thought back to how often I've doubted myself and held myself back. I could feel my face grow warm and my eyes well with tears.
"THAT is what we want!!" she exclaimed.
And then she said something I will never forget:
"FORGET the notes.
Sing the INTENTION!"
In that moment, I knew exactly what she meant. I rallied everything I had in me. I took the stage again and let it all out. I sang from the soles of my shoes. I've done it multiple times since, like in this picture below with Simon T. Bailey.
I couldn't stop thinking about D'Arcy's words: Forget the notes. Sing the intention. They've stuck with me. It was so simple, yet so profound. Pause for a moment and think about what they mean.
Forget the notes...They want the SINGER, not the SOUND. They're not here to be impressed by your vocal mastery. They don't care whether your voice cracks or if you go sharp or flat.
Sing the intention...They want the emotion behind the lyrics, not perfect pitch. They want to FEEL something, Rachel. Let them in.
Do you tend to focus more on perfecting instead of connecting? On being the sage rather than the guide? On your expertise more than your intention?
People can tell the difference.
What would happen if you took D'Arcy's insight and applied it to your life and your work? What would happen if you shifted your focus to serving? What if you gave yourself permission to forget the notes and to sing the intention instead?
From Insight to Action
Last weekend, I was delivering the keynote speech at HR Virginia's Annual Leadership Conference. To prepare for the speech, I spent a half dozen hours interviewing people who were going to be in the audience to find out what their challenges and frustrations were. I arrived a day early to mingle with the other attendees and sit in on breakout sessions, so I could really get to know who I would be speaking to the next morning.
Because my intention was to help, encourage, inspire, empower, equip, and serve them, I structured the speech accordingly.
It wasn't about me being impressive.
It was about them feeling seen and served.
By the time I stood on stage, I felt like I was talking to a room full of new friends, not a room full of strangers. We laughed together and shared stories and photos and smiles. I've received over a dozen messages from those who attended saying how helpful the session was for them and how excited they are to implement what they learned.
The next time you're preparing for a speech, training or meeting or even a LinkedIn post, keep these questions in the front of your mind to guide you:
"Is this in service to my ego or the audience?"
"How can I be in service to my audience?"
When your intention is to be of service, you relieve yourself of the pressure to be perfect. The people you are serving will be able to more fully embrace your message because they'll see that you're in it for them, not for yourself.
Forget the notes.
Sing the intention.
If you liked what you read here, check out the recent podcast interviews on my website for more inspiration about living an #unmuted life, leading intentionally and becoming more of who you are called to be.
