3 Ways to Reset Your Mindset to Find Peace Amid Change

If you want more peace of mind and want to navigate change with more clarity and confidence, then this post is for you.

We've been through a lot of change over the past few years, and most of those changes we didn't choose.

And here’s something most of us don’t realize - the brain hates change! The brain tries to be as efficient as possible going through the day in predictable, familiar, automatic ways. In other words, the brain is kind of lazy! Any change - especially change that is sudden and unwanted - is perceived by the brain as a threat.

When our brain sees something in our environment as threatening, we tend to either flee, fight or freeze, paralyzed with fear. We don’t like change, so we end up trying to resist it in some way. Our emotional response to change can feel like a roller coaster ride.

We respond to it by feeling overwhelmed, anxious, burned out and frustrated - anything but peaceful.

That's why I wanted to share these three insights with you today about how to build resilience and navigate the next normals. I walk through this process in depth in one of the keynotes / workshops I facilitate, and people always remember the trio of phrases I'm about to share.

Let be.

Let go.

Let in.

I first heard those phrases from best-selling author, Dr. Rick Hanson, who has written books like Hardwiring Happiness and Resilient.

I've taken what I learned and put my own spin on it to align with the current situation in which we find ourselves - trying to find peace in the midst of uncertainty. When we're feeling stressed, we don't take time to pause, check in with ourselves, or be thoughtful about how we respond. Today's post is an invitation to do just that.

Start by reflecting on these three questions:

1. What do I need to let be? (Accept)

2. What do I need to let go of? (Release)

3. What do I need to let in? (Be Open to Receive)

As we learn to accept what is, let go of what no longer serves and let in possibility and goodness, we become more resilient and better equipped to respond to changes in the future.

Let Be

For many of us, accepting what is is difficult. Much of our energy is spent resisting reality because we don’t agree with it, don’t like it, are upset with it or wish it weren’t true.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we're okay with a situation, but it frees up all of the energy we are spending resisting it. I wrote about that here in a blog post about the five traits of resilient people. The final stages of the grieving process are acceptance and integration - taking our loss and making meaning from it.

As we think about “letting be” or accepting, I find that taking an honest look at the aspects of ourselves we are inclined to reject to be a helpful practice. Take a look at the list below and notice what resonates with you and feels validating:

“I accept the part of me that…”

• I accept the part of me that feels tired and overwhelmed by all of the changes and continued uncertainty at work and in the world

• I accept the part of me that wants to know all the answers and be in control but feels unsettled, helpless and hopeless

• I accept the part of me that feels sad, angry, anxious or frustrated

• I accept the part of me that feels guilty for not doing “more”

• I accept the part of me that “vegges out” and watches too much Netflix

What “I accept the part of me that…” statements would you add? Jot them down (or share in the comments).

If we can learn to accept instead of resist what is, we free up massive amounts of emotional and even physical energy to move on to the second step of navigating change:

Let Go

If you’ve seen the Disney movie, Frozen, you know how important it is to “let it go.”

But letting go isn’t easy. Sometimes we have a death grip on “what was” and are afraid to let go of the familiar past. We are unable to move forward, feeling stuck and even stubborn, resentful or bitter about our situation.

Letting go is a choice, and there are a lot of things we can choose to let go of...

The more we learn to let go of these things, the more receptive and available we can be to whatever wants to make its way into our lives in the future.

One of my favorite ways to let go is by breathing. Exhaling is a form of release. This is one of my favorite breathing practices. I also find movement, creating things, connecting with life-giving people, laughter, journaling, and therapy to be effective forms of letting go.

To get at letting go, reflect on these questions:

1. What ways of thinking, being or doing are no longer serving me or weighing me down?

2. What could I choose to let go of to make room for something else (relationally, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually)?

3. What can I choose to say NO to, so I can say YES to what matters most now?

Once we can "let be" and "let go," we open up space to receive and "let in."

Let In

Helen Keller once said:

"When one door closes, another opens. But often we look so long, so regretfully, upon the closed door, that we fail to see the one that is opened for us."

The past two years have been full of closed doors and changes that we wish we could undo. But in the midst of crisis lies opportunity...

• Opportunities to take in and appreciate the goodness we once took for granted

• Opportunities to celebrate our progress and wins, no matter how small

• Opportunities to be open to new ways of working and living that help us integrate and align who we are with what we do

• Opportunities to reconnect to who and what matters most

• Opportunities to receive love and kindness from the people around us

We can retrain the brain to “take in the good” by making it a regular part of our day and any reflective process. One of the ways I’ve done this is by tracking “bright spots” on a daily basis. I share more about that practice in this video. Letting in gratitude is powerful and can help us redirect our focus from what’s missing to what’s present.

Start with these "let in" reflections:

1. What possibilities or goodness could you choose to "let in" today, this week or this month?

2. What has become possible for you and for your organization as a result of the disruption of the past two years?

3. What new ways of being, thinking, doing, connecting, collaborating and working are you open to letting in?

If you want to be a more resilient, hopeful, and present person, be mindful and intentional about accepting what is, letting go of what was or what will be, and letting in the possibilities and goodness around you.

I love hearing your stories and learning from you. I'd be honored if you'd share your reflections to any of those questions in the comments below!